What Men Really See When They Look at You

A stroll with the squirrels… Who Me? 

I took a walk through my neighborhood yesterday in the middle of the day - in the middle of the week - on a work day.  (giggle) I needed to get away from my home office for a little while. It was a very different kind of walk. In fact it was actually just a stroll to take in some sunshine and take notice of my surroundings.  I was intrigued by what I haven’t noticed before –Like the squirrels hustling around the big boulders searching for foods to fatten up for the cold winter season and listening to the rustling fall leaves below my feet. There was a time in my life when a “stroll” would have seemed like a lost opportunity to burn some calories or get my heart rate up.

I am so grateful I now have both the wisdom and the science to abandon the faulty belief systems that had me engaged in extreme fitness regimes and restricting diets. Now I know that the slow strolls are equally as important to my health as the fitness walks.

As a health counselor I’d like to say it was science that liberated me from the weight loss war zone where I had spent the better part of my life. But the fact is it was a long and treacherous journey.   I was just like the majority of women with much deeper reasons that propelled me into extreme diets and punishing exercise routines.

Being the research geek that I am I often come across scary statistics like the ones listed below. They remind me of how far I’ve come and why I do this work.

Scary Statistics

• The average woman worries about the size and shape of her body EVERY 15 MINUTES. That’s more than men think about s.e.x, which is every 20 minutes.

• 9 out of 10 women dislike and even hate their body

• 92% of women say they want to change some aspect of their appearance, mostly body weight and shape

• 8 out of 10 women are on a diet

• 86% say they routinely avoid pleasurable activities such as shopping for clothes, swimming or having sex, until they lose weight.

•* 40% of 9-year old girls claim they are dieting, or have dieted.

When I think of my own daughters or women clients that are well into their 40s +, with their personal struggles to overcome these same issues my thoughts often ponder these questions…

What has us starve ourselves skinny or engage is extreme forms of exercise until our knees give out and our bodies say, “No more.”?

What has us look in the mirror and see only our faults?

What has us go weeping, crawling and sleeping through life because we are not confident enough in our skin to dance?

I hear women say painful things like, “I’m afraid my husband, boyfriend, lover won’t find me attractive if I gain weight.” But I know better, I know that what they’re really saying is, “I won’t find ME attractive if I gain weight.”

What I’ve grown to realize is that I don’t think it’s the guys in our life that we have to worry about. I think it’s our own thoughts that hijack our mind and keep us locked into patterns that sabotage our health and or our vitality.

Take a few minutes to read this article. It’s a life-altering, life-affirming perspective we all need to embrace. I want to read it to every woman who looks at herself in the mirror and sees only her flaws:

What Men Really Notice When They Look at You

Leave a comment and tell me what you think of Aaron Traister’s perspective. Then, share it with every woman you know. It’s that good.

Live freely! Live healthfully! Live like you mean it!
Melanie Banayat

Former "Stress Junkie & Emotional Eater"
46 year old mother of 2 + 2, wife, and accidental entrepreneur

I now coach women in how to take charge of their own health, and implement pleasure into their life experience, while reaching their personal health goals through holistic health and nutrition practices.

If you liked this post, please share it with your friends.  Thanks!